From Pension Puppets
Leo Komarov once again weighs in on the 1-0 ASG loss by Team Atlantic, and John Scott is the real and actual MVP.
It is me once more time, Leo Komarov. May be you read my blogging post yesterday. Today I’m apologize for not play hard. Truth: I was hung over.
I’m type at you from bar on phone after game so I am write short post. Today I play in bag skate NHL pretend is “All Star Game.” What. Is three-on-three for long time, I want to die!! Woman interview me after game, and I say truth: “Is not really fit my style, but I try my best out there.”
OK you caught me, I lie. I did not try best. No hit? What? Is not hockey!
But I tell you what is good about today. Today I getting text from Finnish “nephew” Kasperi Kapanen. He wish me luck. I wonder, why do I need luck? Everybody say is not actually game, everybody drink a lot night before and go out on town. Kasperi, he have a lot to learn. Maybe some day he can represent Maple Leafs at All Star Game — and I will tell him, DRINK.
— Kasperi Kapanen (@kasperikapanen1) February 1, 2016
So last night I go out and I find BEST piano bar. I go out with AHL Marlies call up Stephen Stamkos, and he lure away piano player with story about give him signed stick. Then I take over piano !!!!!! I play William Joel song, “Piano Man.” Everybody at bar clap and ask me play “Free Bird.” I do not know this song so I play Finnish folk music instead. Luckily everybody is so drunk they believe I am play “Free Bird.”
Someone throw dollar at me !!!!!! My first money I earn from retirement career.
At bar after I play set, Stephen Stamkos talk about going back to Tampa Bay. “What,” I say. “You are not Marlies player? You are not famous AHL call up come to All Star Game because of fans vote?”
He laughs. “Leo Komarov, you play against my team two times this year. You did not notice who I am?”
I feel stupid. “But I see your name in Toronto press all of the time. I thought you play for AHL Toronto Marlies.”
Stamkos laughs more and buys me another drink. After a while I don’t feel stupid, I feel drunk.
Many hour pass and finally we go back to hotel. Jaromir Jagr still not back when we go to sleep. “Should he set example like this?” I ask Stephen. I worry about old man. Maybe heart fail before game, dead in Nashville piano bar alley.
“When you play hockey until 43, you make own rules,” Stamkos he says.
“I guess so.” I say. Still I worry.
Next day I am soooooooooooooo hung over. Turns out I did not need to worry. I try to find hotel breakfast bar for eat hang over eggs, and Jagr jog past me in small pants.
“Did you sleep” I ask him.
“No” he say and jog off in direction of blond woman, probably nutritionist.
I want to be this man when I am grow up. He is my hero forever and ever.
So we play Bag Skate tournament. In game I am with Patrice Bergeron and Stamkos, Tampa Bay man. Patrice is OK. Boring. Is all star game and he play defensive forward like he want to win Cup or some thing. Stamkos more fun, but crap on power play. I hope Babcock teach him shoot more, pass less, when Stephen come to Toronto.
I am hung over as shit, and hockey is BORING when no hits. I sleep on Stamkos during other game. Comfortable shoulder.
— Strombone (@strombone1) February 1, 2016
Even Roberto Luongo telling me we good line mates! I think I make Stamkos better on the ice by give him more Corsis — the MOST Corsis, but we lose anyway.
Then AHL IceCaps call up of Montreal John Scott (Is play for Pacific???? I missing something, did Montreal realign and I not hearing about it) score two times on bad goaltender, and then his team win Bag Skate trophy and a lot of money from NHL. John Scott win Most Valuable Player and carried on teammate shoulders.
I tell Stephen, “If you come to Toronto and win Cup with us, we carry you around entire rink, not just three seconds in the air.”
Stephen give me hug. He say, “I see you again at Trade Deadline.”
I don’t know what is mean, but it will be nice to see him again! He is good Piano Bar wing man.
Now I go back home, make Kasperi cook me good Finnish breakfast before play Boston.
Am I happy?
I am fine. You are fine.
This season, fine.
[Leo Komarov’s actual reaction to the All-Star Game:]
[And the real MVP:]